Violet Joy

2011-08-18T10:33:00.002+08:00

(:

2011-07-14T19:53:00.002+08:00

eyecandy (:

it's been almost a year

2011-07-14T19:47:00.004+08:00

wow! it's been almost a year since i blogged here! (: let's take another look at my apple dream.. (:

1) ~~ipad - 32gb, just wifi only - $878~~ bought and sold for ipad 2 (: best decision (:
2) macbook pro - 15-inch: 2.53GHz - $2,835.20 still wanting this one! (:
3) attached to a Samsung monitor, P2370 - $328
4) ~~magic trackpad - wireless - $98 [NEW]~~ after one year, i finally got this! (:
5) ~~apple keyboard - wireless - $98~~ got this together with my imac! (:
6) time capsule - 2TB - $718
7) Harman Kardon SoundSticks II - just for fun - $304
8) ~~iphone 4 (only if it gets better)~~ yes! it got better (:
9) ~~imac - 21.5 inches - $1788~~ my mum bought me this (:
10) ~~parallels - to run windows concurrently - $159~~ i have this.. at a better price (:

my apple dream

2010-07-23T15:05:00.003+08:00

let me just dream a little of what my dream apple arrangement..

1) ipad - 32gb, just wifi only - $878

2) macbook pro - 15-inch: 2.53GHz - $2,835.20
3) attached to a Samsung monitor, P2370 - $328

4) magic trackpad - wireless - $98 [NEW]

5) apple keyboard - wireless - $98

6) time capsule - 2TB - $718

7) Harman Kardon SoundSticks II - just for fun - $304

8) iphone 4 (only if it gets better)

9) imac - 21.5 inches - $1788

10) parallels - to run windows concurrently - $159

the magic trackpad is soooo cutee! aww man, falling in love with apple products all over again! (:

haha.. soon, i can strike out the first one and claim that it is mine.. like mine! i bought it with my own money! (: heheh! weeeee!

blessed

2010-07-16T06:38:00.003+08:00

I was just talking to my mum and kailun ydae.. and i realised how immensely God has blessed me over the years.. how God brought me friends that put me where i am today.. secondary school friends like Grace Goh! She really has been a blessing in my life, she was the one God brought to me to remind me about God every time i stray away.. every time i forgot about God, she was there.. I was blessed to be in a class where there are people who are really smart.. and those who knew when to relax.. it balanced out in our class.. in RP, i was even more blessed.. though non-christian friends, but i believe God planned for this, and without them, i probably wouldn't grad from RP with a seemingly impressive GPA..

God has been making every one that i meet a blessing in my life, every life lesson a growing moment, God has been doing so much and yet.. i grumble and complain to him about my life.. i grumble and complain about the smallest and most insignificant thing.. and what for? when God has planned specifically in this way for a reason.. because He loves me..

I love the King and the King loves me..

1st July

2010-07-01T11:13:00.000+08:00

the long awaited day has finally arrived (: heheh (:

answer

2010-06-12T03:30:00.003+08:00

thanks to my faithful reader, ivy (: but i think you will not be so happy to what im hyped about (:

and btw.. all those are good guesses! (: lol (:

Eclipse! is coming on 30th June! (:

ps:

mum coming back: 28th June

temp job: not even close!

WEE!

2010-06-09T15:30:00.001+08:00

21 more days!! can anyone guess what im so hyped up about? (: (: (: 21 MORE DAYS!!

gb camp

2010-05-28T19:07:00.001+08:00

tmr is GB camp.. after GB camp, i have a photo shoot..

fun (:

seriously..

2010-05-17T00:21:00.002+08:00

i miss you.. where have you been?

we used to go out so often.. see each other so often..

have you really forgotten about me?

so what was i to you?

a substitute until someone better came along?

it really might sound bitter, jealous and everything..

but its just that i really miss my best friend..

i miss talking to her about my problems

i miss talking to her about nonsense

i miss talking to her about God

i miss talking to her

i miss going shopping with her for random stuff

i miss going shopping with her for funny stuff

i miss going shopping with her simple just for the sake of going out

i just really miss you.. do i have that right anymore?

2010-05-06T17:57:00.002+08:00

awesommeeee! (: the feeling of having exams over.. and also the first year of my uni life.. time really flies.. (: going out with drey, danny and huiwen tmr! (: weee! (: no plans yet for now.. but there is so much i have to do.. haha..

firstly, and my 'boss' is already chasing for it le!.. haha.. soundworks+proj merger! (: weee!!

secondly, improve my photography skills! (: my sis has kindly lent me.. hehe.. (: weee.. photoscrazee time! (:

last but not least.. my room! the postwar mess (: it must go!! (:

grow up!

2010-04-13T23:25:00.002+08:00

lessons learnt/learning:

1) time to grow up!

2) God's ways are higher than mine

3) let God's love fill in our void!

1) time to grow up! this phrase has been running in my mind ever since i was in YA! its a good thing really! it really pushes me to grow and mature in a way that i have never experienced before.. time to mature into a young adult, into someone that God would want to use me in so many ways for.. stop running from all responsibilities and pick it up.. i have always wanted to do so many things for God.. really! and i have been complaining to God, why haven't i been given what i wanted and the answer i got was, 'you are not ready yet, wait!' and i believe when i'm ready and God uses me, it will be awesome! (: so now its time to grow up! (:

2) God's ways are higher than mine.. this lesson i can never learn.. never.. I always want it my way because i think that my ways are 'better'.. well, they are not! (: God taught me humility even in the things that i wana do for Him and i thought that He will be pleased with it, but ultimately I have to give God the control over my life, over the things that i do.. because His ways are higher than my ways! and i know that God has the best interest for me! and i have to wait! patience is one thing i wana have soon! ironic huh! (: hehhe (: yeap!

3) lastly, this struck me while i was on the bus today.. it shouldn't be new to a lot of people.. but it just struck me in a 'different' way today.. was just thinking about, how many love songs, how many love stories there are in the world. any movie that shows, always will have a love story, somewhere, somehow, be it big or small.. love songs are just countless, be it about break up, make up, marriage, etc.. and do we wonder sometimes why there are just so many things about love.. well, it is because God made us for love.. His love.. we have been designed to love and be loved.. and unfortunately we search for the love from the world, the limited, 'fail-able', 'with strings attached' love.. and there will always be that void in us that would not be complete, because it can only be filled with the love of God, the perfect, unfailing love..

we chase for things of this earth.. when we are suppose to chase for the things of God's kingdom

we chase for the love that this world has to offer, when we have the love of God, with no strings..

we chase for happiness that this world has, when we have the joy of the Lord as our strength!..

God has provided us with everything that we need, and we will get it by just asking Him, but sometimes, we choose what the world has to offer and we 'settle' with it.. why settle for mediocrity, when we have something that has is the 'top of the line', best things that is just right in front of us..

we have been designed for the best, therefore we will never be satisfied with what the world has to offer!

10 more post

2010-04-13T23:23:00.002+08:00

10 more post, and this blog would officially has 200 post and then it will be time for me to change blog, and time to move on (: weee so let's wait for 200 post! (:

Lifesong

2010-04-08T12:26:00.002+08:00

Casting Crowns
Lifesong

Verse 1:
Empty hands held high
Such small sacrifice
If not joined with my life
I sing in vain tonight

May the words I say
And the things I do
Make my lifesong sing
Bring a smile to You

Chorus:
Let my lifesong sing to You
Let my lifesong sing to You

I want to sign Your name
To the end of this day
Knowing that my heart was true
Let my lifesong sing to You

Verse 2:
Lord I give my life
A living sacrifice
To reach a world in need
To be Your hands and feet

So may the words I say
And the things I do
Make my lifesong sing
Bring a smile to You

Bridge:
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Let my lifesong sing to You

i know i just dun fit

2010-04-06T12:30:00.002+08:00

how would you feel if everywhere you went.. you feel as though, people dread having you around.. moving from failure to failure.. not able to start fresh in some place because constantly there are people reminding you of your failure.. how does it feel to go to a place and not fit in, and pretend that everything is okay.. how does it feel when people say that its your fault about something.. and jokingly we all say it isnt, but in our hearts we know it is.. how does it feel when people *hint* that they dun want you in some place that you are.. but you are just there.. how does it feel?

should i stay or should i go?.. should i continue to stay and let people continue *hinting* that i don't belong.. or should i go, to another place where i don't belong..

well now.. problem is not the people is it.. its me.. i just dun belong.. i failed in every place.. i tried and i keep failing.. when is it time for me to just give it all up?.. give up trying to fit in into some place.. trying to have just someone to confide to.. trying to be myself amongst people.. trying to grow up.. what do i do?...

thinking

2010-03-25T13:24:00.003+08:00

i've been doing a lot of thinking about a lot of things. however, it's getting nowhere.. cuz after all they are just thinking, thoughts.. whatever..

but one thing i know, i've lost something.. something in me that i used to be really good at, really proud about. i cannot exactly pin-point it as yet, but i know, i've lost this... this will in me to fight, do better, or even be good at whatever i do..

but no.. i refuse to let my feelings dictate how i live my life, i've been doing that for a long time now, and its bad.. and i'm going to find out.. find out what's that something that i've lost..

thinking.. i've been doing a lot of thinking..

unfortunately, i kinda realize, what this mean.. when im saying that i've been doing a lot of thinking.. it means, i havent been talking much to people.. which is why i spend more time thinking.. seriously and honestly, i don't know which is better.. thinking or talking.. but i give up, give up trying to find people to talk to, because i dunno.. half the time.. i am not sure if they really want to talk to me or not..

thinking...

hypomania

2010-03-02T22:52:00.003+08:00

According to Wiki:

Hypomania (literally, below mania) is a mood state characterized by persistent and pervasive elevated or irritable mood, and thoughts and behaviors that are consistent with such a mood state. People experiencing hypomanic symptoms typically have a flight of ideas, a decreased need for sleep and/or rest, are extremely outgoing and daring, and have a great deal of energy.

Specifically, it is distinguished from mania by the absence of psychotic symptoms and by its lower degree of impact on functioning.

The DSM-IV-TR (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) under APA, defines a hypomanic episode as including, over the course of at least four days, elevated mood plus three of the following symptoms OR irritable mood plus four of the following symptoms:

pressured speech; rapid talking
inflated self-esteem or grandiosity;
decreased need for sleep;
flight of ideas or the subjective experience that thoughts are racing;
easy distractibility and attention-deficit (superficially similar to attention deficit hyperactivity disorder);
[ALMOST!!] increase in psychomotor agitation; and
involvement in pleasurable activities that may have a high potential for negative psycho-social or physical consequences (e.g., the person engages in unrestrained buying sprees or foolish business investments).

tired

2010-02-24T20:01:00.002+08:00

mild or severe sleep deprivation?

stress, cause or effect of sleep deprivation?

im really really tired..

and unfortunately its affecting my decision making, thought processes and even memory.. the encoding of memory.. argh!

im tired.. really really tired..

new insights

2010-02-03T16:39:00.002+08:00

i learnt and discovered something today, not new.. but i finally understood what God meant, when He gave the ten commandments, and He made them for us, to protect us and not to limit us..

on the bus today, the bus passed by a pri school and just nice it was the pri 1's recess.. and they were just running around, up and down the slopes surrounded by the school fences.. if those fences weren't there, they might have fallen, it would have been a greater danger.. the fences were made there to protect them..

they have the whole school to run around.. they didn't find the need to run outside of school.. in the same way, we have the freedom of choice, but we don't need to break those commandants, because God laid it down to protect us from being hurt.. God laid it down, not for us to feel guilty about it when we break those commandants, but they are there to remind us that God is protecting us and God cares for us so much that He has those commandants for us! ..

new week

2010-02-01T09:58:00.003+08:00

a new week i step into

with hopes and expectations bountiful

i lean not on my own understanding

but trust in God's guiding

haha! i just went for a literary studies tutorial.. haha.. feeling very poetic now.. but it will all be ruined by the discrete math i have right after it! which is unfortunately, now! argh.. ahh well.. (: 1hr lecture then i'm off to a 3hrs break (: after that 1 more hour of tutorial, then another wonderful 3hrs break, finally concluding with a wonderful lecture of psych (:

it started off awesome though, spend some time with God, reading His word..

iPad

2010-01-28T14:06:00.004+08:00

it's preeeettttyyy (:

http://www.apple.com/ipad/

randoms

2010-01-25T15:56:00.005+08:00

You Do All Things Well
Chris Tomlin

Mountain maker
Ocean tamer
Glimpses of You
Burn in my eyes
The worship of heaven
Fills up the skies

You made it all
Said, "let there be"
And there was
All that we see
The sound of Your voice
The works of Your hands
You do all things well
You do all things well
You do all things well

Star creator
Wind breather
The strokes of Your beauty
Brushed through the clouds
Light from the heavens
Touching the ground

Imagination runs wild
And breathes the breath of life
Across the fields
Across the miles

God does all things well. I was just wondering, why did Chris Tomlin use the word ‘well’. God does things awesomely, great, perfect. Why did he chose ‘well’? I was just looking up the definition of ‘well’.

First definition was:
in a good or satisfactory way: e.g. ‘the whole team played well.’

Good? Satisfactory? That isn’t how God does it. Then I looked further

Second definition was:
in a thorough manner
Alt definition: to a great extent or degree: the visit had been planned well

This opened my eyes. God does things in a thorough manner, to a great extent and degree. He does all things well. Now this makes more sense doesn’t it? (: And I found the beauty of this word, it’s like, after you know the meaning and the degree of it, it is such a BIG word. And God does all things well. ‘Awesomely’, ‘great’ gives ‘that feeling’, I’m not sure if you understand that feeling, but it’s that feeling, yet, Chris Tomlin uses the word ‘well’, it’s like when we know the word, we are humbled and in awe at what God can do, and how God does it. It just amazes me. (: Well, that’s for me.. (: It’s a beautiful song, the description used in this song is so majestic, so big and Chris Tomlin uses the word ‘well’ together with it.. It’s just…. Hmm.. I can’t explain.. But yea!

Well, I’m in the ‘understanding in between the lines’ mood.. Because I just went for my first ‘introduction to literary studies’ tutorial in the morning, learning to ‘interpret’ and understand poems.. And this is a poem to me, a poem for God.. So yea, I’m practicing (:

again

2010-01-19T22:56:00.002+08:00

i had an angry thought today again.. felt like screaming again, at people.. certain people, trying to scream out to justify my hurt, my anger.. again.. but no! I'm looking forward, so i chose to ignore it.. though was a little upset that, that happened again.. but I'm looking forward.. maybe not happily looking forward, but will still look forward, because it will eat me up alive if i dwell on it.. make sense right?... i think so..

so much for having a positive attitude for the past few days/past few entries huh?

nice change

2010-01-18T21:20:00.002+08:00

it's a nice change from white background.. (: isn't it? (:

'violety color' as what sean said (: haha!

anw, back to the main point..

today i was inspired when i saw something online..

we do not seek the approval of others.. we don't need to, and we shouldn't want to..

but humanly, sometimes, we do some things to seek their approval..

but the sad thing is, once we get 'addicted' to their approval, we got to keep doing and doing.. till one day we realize that perhaps, they are 'happy' with us only because of the things that you do.. if you stop doing, then everything stops as well, the relationship that you thought you had with that person.. conversations stops, everything just stops.

then you realize how stupid you were to do it for the sake of them, when you can do it for God and seek the approval of God, simply because i know that if I do it for God.. God will not love me a little more or a little less, simply because He loves me already.. and with His love, it is more than enough to satisfy that feeling of wanting an approval from someone.. we have that approval from the King of kings and the Lord of lords, what more can we ask for! (:

yes, until now.. you might think I am talking about myself.. in fact I am.. and i used to be really bitter about it because i felt so unfair that, I thought i had a relationship with this person, but when things happen, i see a total different side of this person towards me, and i feel betrayed, hurt, unfair, because i trusted this person..

but after this other person told me this very precious truth, i began to see things in a different way..

all that happened to me.. now she knows that she can trust me if this situation ever comes up to me again, I would be able to consider the other person's feelings and not do the same as what happened to me.. i would be able to treat the person with more love and care.. because i know how it feels like to be hurt and betrayed in that way.. and when i understood that (which was about 1 week later), i saw the bigger picture.. and i saw it from another point of view..

now I know that God is using all these to change me.. and so that when i am placed in that position and situation, i would handle things to differently.. i would be able to take in consideration of the other person..

and yes.. i am changing..

see what happens when i am given time.. this is the time that i am taking about.. i need time to think through, verbalize my thoughts and listen to other people's advices, point of views and slowly think.. (:

lesson learnt

2010-01-17T22:01:00.002+08:00

when i was in Christ Church.. the 4 years of morning devotions that I went through.. I only remembered 1 thing that the pastor taught.. it's not impressive but it was crucial for me.. 'at a time such as this..' One morning.. Pastor John mentioned.. Humans are not perfect.. and we can't just forgive and forget.. not that we cannot forgive.. but we cannot forget, unless we knock our heads and lost memory (oh, how i wished sometimes that would happen to me!) BUT however, we can choose not to remember.. The important word here is choose.. It is a choice..

we forgive and choose not to remember.. when we choose not to remember, doesn't mean we sweep it under the rugs of our memory.. but when we forgive and choose not to remember, means we forgive the people, and let it go.. making the choice everyday.. every moment, to not remember what people have done to you.. making that choice every time, you feel like blurting out, to resist and love the person..

we fail at times, but we learn, we get stronger and with the victories we experience daily, we overcome it, and soon we will be able to master over it and choose to love and not hate, praise and not condemn, give and not take, bless and not curse, talk and not gossip. forgive and choose not to remember. was what the pastor said..

love the person and not hate the person

praise the person for every good and wonderful thing that he/she has done and not condemn those he/she has fail

continue to give and bless them and not take away what is theirs to 'compensate' your hurt

pray for them, and not curse them

talk to them and not gossip about them to others

forgive and choose not to remember

so yes.. I will forgive and choose not to remember, love and not hate, praise and not condemn, give and not take, bless and not curse, talk and not gossip..

I will do it.. I need to move on.. I wana do so much more for God.. I can't be stuck here for too long! it's time to go go go!

what the freaking heck!

2010-01-14T01:11:00.002+08:00

i cant move on with you..

i cant move on without you..

ARGH!

over

2010-01-09T13:19:00.002+08:00

i've tried.. and this is as far as i will go.. if you want to blame everything on me.. fine..

if you want people to see that it's my fault.. fine..

my conscience in clear.. and good..

this is as far as i will explain myself.. this is as far as i will take as much initiative.. this is the last of me.. talking about this matter.. its over.. i'm putting it behind me.. and moving on.. so freaking moving on..

deal with it..

live with it..

die with it..

(that's what one of my dearest friend said) (:

i have tried to deal with it.. with the other person..

and since there is no proper closure to it.. fine..

you want me to live with it.. fine.. i will..

i've tried to explain let you see my point.. no.. you conclude inappropriately, and incorrectly and then put the blame back on me.. fine.. its okay.. cuz its over.. it's so freaking over!

a person who no longer exist

2010-01-04T22:24:00.002+08:00

A person who sees joy in everything

loves to do random things for people

smiles whenever she sees the sky

grumbles at the rain but ever so grateful to God for keep the weather so cooling

grumbles at the hot sun but ever so grateful to God for sunshine

A person who writes notes occasionally to others to encourage people

because she is so encouraged all the time

A person who has a best friend that she always talk to, talk nonsense, go for random trips to different shopping centers for retail therapy..

A person who loves to just go out and breathe the fresh air

A person who loves where she is serving because she was serving for God and find joy when she sees the joy in others..

This person used to be called Violet Joy..

where is she now?

She needs to be here.. She needs to return back..

new year

2010-01-01T12:15:00.002+08:00

new year
new goals
new plans
new start
new hopes
new wishes
new dreams
new beginnings
new relationships formed

all for a better year... (:

to start the new year.. with ivy's first year anniversary's celebration.. it's going to be aaawwweeesoooommmmeeee (: weeee!! (:

hypocrites

2009-12-29T17:47:00.003+08:00

hypocrites are people who act like crap in front of people they don't like.. and those they want to 'tao hao', they will act like a freaking angel.. and true hypocrites are those who think whatever they are doing is really right? i mean, seriously? then again if i say i hate you, that's an understatement of the year.. if i say i forgive you.. that's something i'm still working on.. and you are making it harder each step of the way..

seriously?

time

2009-12-12T01:07:00.003+08:00

every time i open a new document.. wanting to write something... i end up closing the document.. every time i open the letter.. i end up closing it again... i want to write something to you.. but i dunno what to write.. i want to tell you my day.. because that's what we used to do.. but i can't now..

so time... i need time...

sacrifice

2009-11-30T12:59:00.001+08:00

I finally understood the meaning of 'sacrifice doesn't mean anything when it does not cost me anything'..

end

2009-11-29T22:57:00.001+08:00

when it's time to let go.. it's time to go..

who

2009-11-25T02:10:00.001+08:00

i have a lot to say.. a lot to share.. who will listen?..

fooled

2009-11-17T17:00:00.003+08:00

she has everyone around her, fooled.. thinking that she is all that nice, demure, mature?! why put up at act in front of people and at home, it is another person all together, even from what she says, she acts differently in front of her school friends, church friends and family.. who exactly is she? who sees her for who she is? ARGH!

screwed up

2009-11-16T23:52:00.003+08:00

i can see now that i'm really screwed up.. because i have effectively drove away that one person who stood by me no matter what i did.. and because i have done that.. i can't fight anymore, cuz i am screwed up.. seriously screwed up.. i hate myself..

ARGH!

2009-11-10T04:02:00.001+08:00

i can't sleep! i can't sleep! i can't sleep!! ARGH! what's wrong with me?!

pre-exams stress

2009-11-05T14:27:00.003+08:00

I read eunice's blog and was 'inspired' to write this down as well!

3 weeks to exams..

and I still have 2 projects.. 2 reports.. 1 test.. and a ton of lectures notes to read up on.. gah! it's not gonna end!!

well then again..

1 project with 1 report.. due tmr..

1 project with 1 more report.. due monday 5pm..

math test tmr... and then i'm left with the huge stack of notes sitting at my table just screaming 'READ ME!' ya! (:

ahhh! well then.. nothing much more to update.. see you guys after exams! (: 28th Nov!!

Reason

2009-10-19T00:31:00.000+08:00

I was sitting in NUS Arts Canteen, with my bowl of ‘Yong Tau Fu’, and 50cents ice lemon tee (: As I look at the people walking up and down in the canteen, I can’t help but think.. Why am I in NUS? How did I end up here? Am I really cut out for this type of stuff? Many questions.. Yet, I have no answer.. I don’t even doubt myself because I know I am not doing well.. And I’m really bad at it, and I just… I don’t know… I hate this… I hate not able to do well..

monday bluees AWAY! (:

2009-10-12T12:56:00.002+08:00

"He who refreshes others will himself be refreshed." Proverbs 11:25

one of the advantages of twitter.. i was feeling quite down... and i just saw a twitter feed from Michael W. Smith.. sending a verse.. which is above.. it was like.. wow.. monday bluee.. byeee.. (:

well.. one happy thing is that, i bought my NUS jacket (: and I got a new bag (: thanks to mummy and daddy (:

yay (: and yes! i'm looking to Him to refresh me.. and I am going to be dependent on Him!! (:

end of rush hour (week)

2009-09-29T21:39:00.002+08:00

i believe there are more come of such rush weeks.. and I just survived through my very first one..

had a meeting at 9.30pm last night.. (: and ended at about 11plus.. dad was nice, came to pick me and huishan.. sent huishan home then when i got home.. ard 12.. i quickly bathed.. started on the presentation for today.. kept going on till about 2am.. had to sleep cuz needed to wake up at 6am, which was 4hrs later.. so woke up.. mummy was nice, sent me all the way to school instead of the busstop (: and i slept all the way in the car.. walked to the LT.. was the second to reach.. bought a milk tea and a bao and that was my lunch..

after that.. chiong to LT19.. i sat outside.. while huishan is in there listening to CS1231 lecture (: which i now do not need to take it till next sem and I really thank God for that (: and... continue working on the presentation till about 12nn.. huishan came out.. shufen and ducheng came and join us.. and we started practicing our presentation..

first try... HORRIBLE! (:

second try.. A little better..

our third try was the actual one already at 1pm.. and it was good (:

so yay (:

and oh! forgot to add.. presentation ofcuz.. done in keynote! so of cuz it was good! (:

hehe

after presentation, we were SO SO relieved that our turn is OVER! (: weeee!! now we laugh at the other grps! wahahah *evil laughs

haha..

but it was indeed an interesting experience working with new people..

in RP, i was used to being to 'chiong-ster' always the one, doing the ppt, making sure it was okay.. all the information was in there.. etc.. here, i have people more chiong-ing than me (: hehe.. pushing me to work even harder.. (: which im quite glad.. so i do really need to start working harder! gah!

tmr!

1) math tutorial.. (yuck! not because of the module.. because of the tutor :x)

2) CS2100 lab.. not bad.. I done my circuiting le.. tmr show the lab assistant can le (: weee (:

3) CS2100 lecture.. hopefully i can change more stuff when lecturer speaks.. because seriously.. I have no idea what he has been talking about for the past 2 lectures!

4) CS2103 mid term! gahhh!! MID TERM! haha.. ohh well.. im actually fine with it.. so yeap! (:

highlight of tmr...

*drum rolls!

5) meeting with my CS2100 tutor! hahah! (: he is really a nice nice dedicated tutor.. really like him alot.. and only when he teaches.. suddenly, I see the light! haha! and i'm talking SERIOUSLY! yeap.. (: so meeting him to clear up a lot of stuff.. since I failed my mid term for this module :x oops.. yeap, I have to work much harder for this module! (:

but for now! SLEEP!! nighty night! (:

No more

2009-09-22T09:04:00.003+08:00

I officially have left with 5 modules this semester... dropping CS1231 was a great relief for me.. now instead of worrying about how to understand CS1231, i can focus on my other modules.. the only downside.. I still have to read this module next semester.. but oh well.. (:

the last school week before recess

2009-09-14T09:56:00.002+08:00

recess was what i used to have everyday for half hour in the middle of my school day.. now i have one week in the middle of my semester.. one week compared to half hour is long.. then thinking about it, with the huge amount of workload difference, i rather i have half hour of recess everyday than this! but it all depends on perspective after all right? i have always wanted to go to uni.. my dream was always to come here and amazingly God brought me here after so many years.. studying something that I want.. in a way... and this itself i can thank God for.. I'm glad that im suffering in NUS because I know I'm not alone.. not only with my friends here in NUS.. also.. most importantly God is with me (: yay

english class start le.. (: have a great day! (:

taxing week.. taxing semester

2009-08-30T23:31:00.000+08:00

if there is one thing i will regret in my entire life.. it is probably taking 6 modules in one semester.. the pressure and the amount of work is just killing me.. i have a ton of work to do.. presentations to prepare for.. projects members whom i have no idea who, to meet.. argh!

tired

2009-08-21T16:35:00.002+08:00

im tired.. stressed.. 2nd week have ended and i have alot of assignments due and not done yet! tutorials are starting and i have a lot of worksheets and questions in textbooks that i have not done yet! ahhh! i need more time! time! time!! argh! and i still got to work! gah!

busride

2009-08-18T22:27:00.000+08:00

i had an awesome bus ride with mr. victor! (: haha.. chatting about RANDOM stuff! learning sign language.. and more chatting about random stuff.. hahah.. it was really interesting (: haha! tmr his new mac is coming! so exciting! hahah (:

and I'm so happy that I finally understood discrete structure... it's like 'ding ding ding!' *eyes glittering* hahah! first part to get success! wahahha.. although i don't know how to prove a proposition yet.. but nonetheless! i understand! ahhaha (: tmr studying time tgt with carol! yay! (: central lib here i am!! (:

I gotta find you

2009-08-13T21:29:00.001+08:00

By: Joe Jonas

Every time I think I'm closer to the heart
Of what it means to know just who I am
I think I've finally found a better place to start
But no one ever seems to understand

I need to try to get to where you are
Could it be you're not that far

You're the voice I hear inside my head
The reason that I'm singing
I need to find you
I gotta find you
You're the missing piece I need
The song inside of me
I need to find you
I gotta find you
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah

You're the remedy I'm searching hard to find
To fix the puzzle that I see inside
Panting all my dreams the color of your smile
When I find you it will be alright

I need to try to get to where you are
Could it be you're not that far

Been feeling lost, can't find the words to say
Spending all my time, stuck in yesterday
Where you are is where I wanna be
Oh next to you
And you next to me
Oh, I need to find you
Yeah

3 songs

2009-08-13T11:57:00.000+08:00

I was reminded of a song.. a song that was always ringing in my head.. never fails to let me see how great is my God..

The God I Know
KC Gan / City Harvest Church

(verse)
When the stage is bare tonight
There's no one else
Just You and me
When the curtains close behind
There's no pretense
I'm on my knees

(pre chorus)
I will lay down my life
For the love sacrifice
You gave to me
It's all because of You
All because of You

(chorus)
The God I know
Righteous and Holy
The God I know
Faithful and true
The God I know
My tower of refuge
Hearts are healed
Christ revealed

The God I know
Light of the City
The God I know
Strengthens the weak
The God I know
Your heart beats within me
As You are, so are we

(bridge)
This is my cry
My one desire
More of You
More of You

(last chorus)
The church He knows
Righteous and Holy
The church He knows
Is faithful and true
The church He knows
A tower of refuge
Hearts are healed
Christ revealed

The church He knows
Light of this city
The church He knows
Strengthens the weak
The church He knows
Is strong and mighty
As He is, so are we

Things around us will change.. people you know.. will change.. and then you begin to realise.. the only thing that will never change is God Himself.. He hasn't change and will never change.. His word stand yesterday, today and forever.. His love is powerful.. His grace is overflowing.. we get so easily affected by people around us.. because they hurt us.. I have been through crazy times.. down times to the extent of hopelessness.. but God never fails to reach out to me.. asking me to trust Him again.. asking me to follow Him closely.. giving me His hope..

In the midst of all these.. I grew.. I learnt to be independent from others and dependent on God.. I learnt humility towards my leaders.. I learnt how to put my faith in God even though things look really bad..

Last week during youth service SiEr spoke about God's grace.. I finally saw the wonders of the grace of God.. the amazing truth about the grace of God.. the overflowing of it.. There is not enough words to describe it.. 2 songs came to me.. when he spoke about grace..

I See Grace
New Creation Church

Jesus My help
I call out Your name
I cast my cares on You
Jesus my hope
my tower of strength
my faith has found in You
I see You pierced
wounded for me
when I look to the cross I see

I see grace
sealed by your sacrifice
I see love
reaching for me
Precious blood
washes and sanctifies
Healing flows
setting me free
I see grace

Bearer of sin
Afflicted and tried
You paid redemption's price
Bearing my curse
You set me on high
Your death has brought me life

I see You pierced
wounded for me
when I look to the cross I see

I see grace
sealed by Your sacrifice
I see love
reaching for me
Precious blood
washes and sanctifies
Healing flows
setting me free
I see grace

It's all about Jesus
PlanetShakers

It's all about Jesus
It's all about the way he changed our lives
It's all about Jesus
The power of his blood can't be denied

It's all about Jesus
It's all about the convenant he made
It's all about Jesus
Victorious he rose up from the grave

We lift our hearts to him
He is the reason that we sing
Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah,
We praise your name

It's all about Jesus
It's all about the way he set us free
It's all about Jesus
Bearing all our sins at Calvary

It's all about Jesus
It's all about the gift of love he gave
It's all about Jesus
The precious lamb of God was slain

We lift our hearts to him
He is the reason that we sing
Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah
We praise your name
Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah
We praise your name
We lift our hearts to him
He is the reason that we sing
Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah

We praise your name
Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah
We praise your name
Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah
We praise your name
Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah
We praise your name

It's really just all about Jesus.. ALL about Jesus.. sometimes I sing this song.. and I don't understand what I am singing.. but when Si Er shared on Sat.. It's really all about Jesus.. I finally saw and understood.. Jesus did all that needed to be done.. what's left on our part is to believe Him and follow Him.. He took the pain.. the punishment.. the hurts.. all we need to do is to repent.. repentance is a change of mindset..

When God said He loves us. He means it.

first day of school

2009-08-11T14:16:00.002+08:00

I distinctly remb my first day of school in RP.. we were all in classrooms and a facilitator just came to the class and started introducing herself.. and class started.. it was fun..

today.. I sit in LT27.. my first lecture in NUS.. it was MA1301.. Math! so it was really fun.. seeing number lines.. sets again.. completing the squares.. ahhah.. brings back good memory.. (:

after that.. rushed down to LT19 for CS1231.. my first horrible lecture.. a lecture i didnt understand from the beginning.. stared at the notes and none of it I could understand.. waaa... hmm.. ohh mann!!

and now.. with my 5hr break I am blogging.. haha (: with Hui Shan, Victor and Wash's company.. (: blogging.. fb-ing.. when I get home.. homework time! (:

thinking

2009-08-10T16:17:00.000+08:00

i'm thinking... thinking of school which starts tmr..
thinking of someone... (: (:

(: happy day

2009-08-07T23:49:00.000+08:00

didn't feel that well in the morning.. had a little of fever and was cramping.. so decided to skip the last day of orientation.. by the time I woke up.. fever amazingly subsided and cramps was a little mild..

rested the whole day at home and was just enjoying the last few days of freedom for the next 4 years (: hehee.. ahhh.. school is starting!!

Orientation Day 2

2009-08-05T18:13:00.002+08:00

Orientation Day 2...

orientation had been fun so far!.. well.. for the two days that I have attended.. it was surprisingly fun! I was firstly surprised when the group was guy-dominated... more horrified to learn that the faculty is apparently guy-dominated too!

Finally a guy who has the same first letter name as me! Victor! a guy who apparently goes to my dream school, SAJC! who plays the guitar.. who interestingly is a fan of harry potter! and most importantly, carries a mac.. (: not a very new mac.. but mac nonetheless (: And of cuz! He is planning to take the same course and me! (:

Not forgetting Nerissa, most interesting name ever! and confusing because we also had a Melissa in our group.. So when we are playing ice-breaker games, these two names have never failed to confuse the whole group! haha (:

I am really glad I went for orientation (: Almost wanted to miss the entire event. But oh well, I'm glad I could make it (:

Looking forward to the next two days of orientation even though it might just be talk after talk.. but the company is great (:

overloaded first semester

2009-08-04T15:55:00.000+08:00

hmm.. Let's see what are the modules I'm taking (:

1) MA1301 - Introductory Mathematics
Math module...

2) ET1000 - English For Academic Purposes (Comp)
English module...

3) CS1231 - Discrete Structure
Apparently a math module too! (:

4) CS1105 - Computing Society
I have no idea what this is (:

5) CS2100 - Computer Organisation
Carol said this is a tough module!!

6) CS2103 - Software Engineering
Touched this topic briefly during one of my module subjects.. (:

Yeap.. six.. hahah..
*i must do well*
*i must do well*
*i must do well*

(:

School is starting!! weeee...

ARGH!

2009-07-17T00:08:00.000+08:00

ARGH!

wow...

2009-07-15T23:11:00.001+08:00

end of something.. beginning of something else...

tmr.. QET test.. 9.30am..

ohh mann...

i miss you friend

2009-07-13T18:05:00.002+08:00

i miss you my friend.. been some time since we talked.. i wonder how you are.. would you tell me?

i cant seem to talk to you... sigh.. would someone talk to me?.. would someone care?...

its not what it seems

2009-07-12T22:57:00.003+08:00

on the surface we talk... but are we really friends? is it really something we always do...

have i lost this friend of mine?.. or have you just not realised that we have drifted apart?...

what is different now?... was is what happened?...

i guess so huh...

it would hurt me deeply if i lose this friend..

on the surface this is just it...

but are we sharing like we used to.. are we going out like we always do.. it seems like i have lost you..

lost you completely...

am i wrong?..

i really hope i am wrong...

it is really not what it seems...

FYI

2009-07-09T02:00:00.001+08:00

Notice for all windows users! (:

use this to remove the msn virus in your comp if you have it! (: thanks! (:

credits to the owner (:

http://dexxlovestopwn.blogspot.com/2009/07/guide-how-to-remove-remove-msn-virus.html

hmmm...

2009-07-07T00:22:00.002+08:00

faith is exactly what it takes to get through uncertainty.

Faith is not necessary when you know how things are going to work out, - that's knowledge. It's in the time of unknowing that having faith is what sees you through to the other side. Faith is what gives you strength. Faith is that light in your heart that keeps on shining even when it's all darkness outside. Now is the time to keep that faith alive!

saw this on facebook... hmmm....

2009-07-05T00:42:00.002+08:00

what do you tell yourself to cheer yourself up...

i need some new ideas.. because i seem to have exhaust all my 'usuals' and its not working.

its really not working...

what do you do to cheer yourself up...

i cant seem to be my usual self anymore... why?.. ARGH! WHY?

when will i recover from all these.. when will i be out of all these drama..

i need someone who can understand me..

WHO CAN?!

my side of the story

2009-06-27T16:11:00.002+08:00

I haven't really told anyone about what I have been through.. except for one person.. I don't know how and where to start.. my side of the story.. might sound crap.. but it is what I have been through.. As much as I might have been wrong some where, I can't just discredit all that I am feeling right now..

I don't share it with others YET. cuz I don't want to say anything wrong.. or against the leadership.. or say anything to stumble anyone.. I tried to 'fix' it myself.. I failed.. terribly failed..

I dare not say that I am all right in this situation.. but hey.. that was what happened and that was how I felt.. probably unjustified to a certain extent, but what the hey right..

my side of the story is a whole jumbled mess.. is a mess that I can't take it myself.. can't..

this whole story is over.. just forget it.. if need be, I'll just take everything and just move on...

i'll take it as a training.. training for me to learn to be more humble.. more submissive.. more enduring.. more patient..

after thoughts

2009-06-26T19:33:00.002+08:00

I'm tired... I'm really tired of all that is happening around me...

I'm really tired of keeping this up...

I tried.. But I keep failing.. It is easy to say 'then, just try again'.. But it lies far beyond those words..

I'm really tired...

what else

2009-06-24T16:31:00.002+08:00

some people are just more talented than others.. today... i see that..

i came here so as to be able to express myself.. needless to say.. of cuz.. there will always be someone who can do better than me.. i tried so hard to do something so good.. yet.. in the eyes of others.. 'nah, she probably can't do it'

oh well.. i give up.. isnt that a good thing huh! i give up

i give up all the pretending that i can do it.. because SOMEONE ELSE CAN ALWAYS DO IT BETTER THAN ME!

Today i feel so betrayed.. so taken advantage of.. so useless.. so dumb..

i tried.. i really did.. but in all end up in tears.. in the dark where no one can see..

you cannot do this to me...

you really cannot...

you cannot...

limits

2009-06-24T16:27:00.001+08:00

you need to know your limits...

and hey! guess what?..

THIS IS AS MUCH AS I CAN TAKE IT!

mixed

2009-06-22T16:32:00.002+08:00

mind really mixed now.. what should i do? where should i go?

argh..

daddy's girl

2009-06-20T21:51:00.000+08:00

yay (: i get to be daddy's girl again for the next 2 weeks! (: weeee (: miss my daddy and mummy so much! (:

focus

2009-06-20T00:38:00.001+08:00

nahh.. im not going to be bothered by all that.. i wana focus on God..

FOCUS on GOD..

FOCUS!

im tired

2009-06-19T15:38:00.003+08:00

im tired of pretending to be someone im not.. im tired of people pretending that they care.. when actually they just want to fulfill a hidden agenda of theirs...

im tired of just doing and doing thinking that, that would at least help someone out.. what's the point right?

where is the real and genuine care and concern? what happen to all that?

im tired of people trying to achieve their own agenda and end up pretending to be close to someone.. can't it just stop?!

im so frustrated when all they want is just to ask a favor from you.. and when they found someone better.. you are as good as trash.. yea.. trash.. what is the meaning of all these?

why am i feeling this way?

is it just me? or it is something real? i don't even know..

JUST STOP!

random

2009-06-18T23:46:00.003+08:00

there are a thousand things that i want to say.. a thousand and one things in my mind.. that i want to voice out.. but some things just couldnt find a chance to voice it out.. may sound rude.. rebellious.. but what the hey right?..

there are things i see and do not agree with.. there are things that is in my heart.. if i hold it any longer i'll explode! how?... HOW? who wants to hear what i say? (:

a new start.. in three weeks.. the date is 07/07..

a special day that im looking forward to..

light at the end of the tunnel...

2009-06-06T17:11:00.002+08:00

at the end of the tunnel.. there is always light... right?...
well.. at least.. i think so...

well.. through all these.. there was one song that ministered to me the whole time..

You Are - Mark Roach

Verse 1
You are Holy, You are faithful
You are Savior, You are friend
You are all I’ll ever need…
Lord, You are

You are every question’s answer
You are every reason why
You are moving, You are still…
Lord, You are

Chorus
You are the Lord on high
You are the way, the truth, the life
You are the Word made flesh
You are the bright Morning Star…
You are

Verse 2
You are Glory, Hallelujah
You are hope of peace on earth
You are Alpha and Omega…
You are

You are comfort, You are refuge
You are love personified
You are kindness and compassion…
You are

Bridge
You are my God and my King
You are the words that I sing
You are the reason I make this offering

Of the whole song.. this phrase just kept ringing in my head..
You are love personified..
wow... and if He is love.. why are we behaving so self-centered..

another phrase that kept ringing in my head was
You are every question’s answer
You are every reason why..

we argue about the issues in church.. we argue about everything there is.. everything we see..
but so often we forget that we have already lost the focus.. the focus is on God..
and i see the difference..

In the midst of everything that I was going through.. i was so frustrated.. irritated.. i just felt like running away.. but then i left all these aside.. and started to focus on God.. focus on His love.. and then.. things don't disappear.. but things suddenly seems so small.. things suddenly seem so negligent.. then i realised.. why am i so hung up on all the small details.. all my emotions..

when God is big.. everything seems small.. and after all it was just a matter of perspective.. and then i realised God is indeed that big..

everything has an answer.. the answer is God..

it has become

2009-05-28T13:13:00.002+08:00

it has turned to a state where.. people talk to you only because they need something from you.. they want you to do them a favor.. they need you to do something..
it has turned to a state where people just appear to be concerned for that first 5 mins and then.. 'oh btw.. i need you to help me... ' wth..

disappear

2009-05-26T13:12:00.003+08:00

time to disappear.. disappear from the place where it brings pain.. hurts..

time to go to a place where all these will not matter.. hypocrisy will not be an issue..
behind the scene.. ugliness will disappear...

what the heck

2009-05-19T23:47:00.002+08:00

you know you have overdone it when people take you for granted..
when people expects you to do things and blames you when it is not done..

its not that people needs 'thanks' all the time.. but once in a while.. a thank you would be nice to know what we are being appreciated for the things we do.. knowing that we are not there every week just to do what we have to... we are still humans...

you know you have overdone it when people expects you to do it and thinks that you really like to do it...

Monday

2009-05-19T10:23:00.002+08:00

one month (: anw.. i had an awesome time with Alive ydae... choosing the songs for TGIF.. having lunch tgt.. singing and worshipping.. haha.. it was fun! (: and looking forward to zoo tmr!! (: weee (:

battle

2009-04-21T00:23:00.002+08:00

tonight was a battle..
a strong battle i had to go through...
battle of my thoughts..

for a few weeks now, my thoughts have been flooded with things that i could never imagine that i would think of it... thoughts of suicide.. thoughts of torturing myself.. by cutting myself.. images just flash in front of my eyes.. i had no control..

tonight it was like crazy... thoughts flooded my mind.. tears uncontrollably just kept flowing.. i was tired.. i was upset.. i was disappointed.. i wanted to run away.. i wanted to die...

a part of me trying hard to control all of these.. a part of me.. pulling me away from sanity.. i just kept crying and crying...

thank you Beloved for your prayers... thank you Andy for your encouragements.. thank you Carol..

i could feel the struggle.. it was like a tug-of-war in my soul..
i pulled myself together.. struggled.. crawled to get my Bible..

Philippians 4:8
⁸Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

1 Corinthians 14:33
³³ For God is not the author of confusion but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints.

Romans 5: 1-5
¹ Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, ² through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. ³ And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; ⁴ and perseverance, character; and character, hope. ⁵ Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

John 14:6-7
⁶ Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me. ⁷ “If you had known Me, you would have known My Father also; and from now on you know Him and have seen Him.”

Luke 22:32
³² But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren.”

Acts 10:35
³⁵ But in every nation whoever fears Him and works righteousness is accepted by Him.

Ephesians 6: 14-18
¹⁴ Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, ¹⁵ and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; ¹⁶ above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. ¹⁷ And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; ¹⁸ praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints—

Hebrews 11:1
¹ Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

Hebrews 10:35-36
³⁵ Therefore do not cast away your confidence, which has great reward. ³⁶ For you have need of endurance, so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise:

Verses after verses... God spoke... talking about faith.. talking about endurance..
which neither do i have...

after verses.. i knelted just peeking through my room's windows.. there i see a cloud of a child praying... then a little voice in me said, pray.. and i prayed.. in a long time now.. i havent prayed so honestly to Him... i prayed..

after that took the guitar and play.. some written in my hearts.. all sang to Him.. songs of confession.. songs of praise.. songs of re-dedication of my promises to Him.. songs of most honest feelings.. songs of desperate help... it all came out in words..

refreshed in the Spirit.. exhuasted in the flesh.. time to rest.. rest in His peace..
rest in Him...

new beginning..

2009-04-13T15:19:00.001+08:00

at the end of something.. its always a brand new beginning to something better..
i'm looking at the bright side of a situation here.. so ya..

long gone

2009-04-08T10:45:00.002+08:00

hidden agony and pain
would things ever be the same like they used to be?

i'll fly

2009-04-06T11:08:00.001+08:00

One of my fav song currently.. (:

Andy Philip – I’ll Fly

Verse 1:
Been locked in a cage for so long
Got no clue what’s going on
The inner being of my heart
Longs for more

Verse 2:
Been finding a way to go home
Where I once belonged
I’ve got nothing to lose
So I’ll fly, or die trying

Chorus:
I’ll fly away
Towards the vast blue sky
This is my home; where I belong
Now till forever

I’ll fly away
From all my guilt and pain
This is the last time
I’ll be in this state

listen to it!! (: it's great! (:

Ill Fly - Andy Philip

life

2009-04-04T23:10:00.003+08:00

we are so caught up in life.. that we fail to think sometimes.. what is our purpose living in this world..

we are so caught up in life.. that we need a situation.. to wake us up again..

why?... have this world made us neglected our purpose in life?...
have this world made us forget who we truly are?

what is our purpose in life?...
why are we living on this earth for?...

consecrate

2009-04-01T17:38:00.002+08:00

consecrated: : to make or declare sacred ; especially : to devote irrevocably to the worship of God by a solemn ceremony

God called me to consecrate my life to Him... what does that mean... hmmm...

untitled

2009-03-31T23:19:00.000+08:00

a princess waiting for her prince

decision

2009-03-29T20:14:00.003+08:00

that decision was indeed life changing.. im feeling so free.. so able to focused totally on God now! (: it was not easy for me to do it.. but.. yay! (: after 2 years 4 months.. i've finally done it.. end it off once and for all (: weeee...

2009-03-25T22:28:00.002+08:00

I again made some life changing experience today (: im so so proud of myself! (: weeee...
Again im up on my feet, all set to go.. thanks to the lovely eunice who so graciously encouraged me.. (:
with God by me.. who can be against me! (:
no matter how bad the battles are... i believe i will be able to end up victorious because i have God enabling me all the way! (:

All glory to God! (:

far away

2009-03-24T22:54:00.002+08:00

far away...
fly far away...
fly far away like a free bird..

heartbroken
tears
will no longer exist

i'll smile for the rest of my days

how i wish again to smile so free
to smile with no worries

trying to be strong..
the stronger i resist, the harder it is for me
the more i wana stand up
the more the force is trying very hard not to allow me!
argh!
im sick and tired of all these!
ahhh!!!

2009-03-22T15:11:00.002+08:00

it still hurts a little.. just a little..
but i need to persevere... i know i can let it go...
i just need a little more time to let it go..

mental reminder for me

2009-03-21T21:12:00.002+08:00

NUS

Outcome of Application: in writing, by post, latest by early to end May 2009
If your application is successful, you are required to accept the offer online via the common acceptance platform by the stipulated deadline given in the admissions package.

NTU

Results from NTU: Early April to June 2009
Acceptance of Offer: 15 April to 1 June 2009
Appeal: 20 May to 7 June 2009
Second Appeal: 10 June to 22 June 2009
Qualifying English Test: 4 August 2009

Everyday I await for the results... not only NTU... but from NUS at least.. because they didn't specify a time... and i heard a guy from my poly course has already a place in NUS! ohh mann... will i be accepted?....

hmmm... im excited to enter uni.. if i can enter of cuz... (:
pray pray PRAY! (:

kumon

2009-03-21T00:19:00.000+08:00

first day at kumon... pretty interesting actually (:
4 1/2 hrs of marking...
im tired...

upset

2009-03-20T23:13:00.002+08:00

been feeling upset for a while now..
i dunno why....
really really dunno why...

im a klutz

2009-03-16T17:22:00.001+08:00

i just had my first minor accident..

i scratched someone's car...

what's next...

B3 Weekend

2009-03-15T21:08:00.002+08:00

B3 weekend with BELOVED with the greatest! (:

Had super SUPER a lot of fun bonding with one another, basking in God's presence and birthing out new ideas and vision for beloved!!

Went to Matthew house... totally enjoyed ourselves.. had super a lot of laughs... cleared a lot of questions with our cell leader.. haha.. at about 3am... it was like a Q-and-A session with our beloved cell leader! (:

walked Carolyn home after our activities.. while walking.. great bonding time with my dearest cutest sister, Casie! (: Couldn't have asked for a better time with my cell group! (:

I broke my personal sleeping record too! I slept at 6am.. haha.. (: spent 2 hrs dying Matthew's hair!! hahaha! I slept at 6am woke up at ard 9am, totally awake and active! (: Had a great morning, seeing Andy and Matthew play Resident Evil 5 (i think) and Call for Duty (something like that) haha.. then we had a wonderful breakfast.. a even more awesome time in God's presence.. and of cuz a great great time with beloved for the rest of the day! (:

From the bottom of my heart, I LOVE BELOVED! (:

LOVE AND BELOVED!

little notes to God everyday

2009-03-04T22:49:00.003+08:00

i'm starting a new habit... to write little notes to God everyday.. tell God what i'm thinking for the whole day... i guess depending on others can no longer work.. no longer depend everything around me.. but all i can do is to depend on God.. to have a simple faith and simple trust in God..

on Sunday i was at U Kah Mun's place... U Melvin was playing with Naomi.. with nothing fancy.. but a piece of rolled up tissue paper... nothing more.. and she was so happy with it.. so so happy.. and then it suddenly dawn on me that sometimes, God tries so hard to please us with fancy things, but somehow as we grow up, we keep wanting more... and sometimes i guess to have that simple faith is to be happy in the small and simple things that God does for us everyday... and not that whining teenage who wants everything else in the world..

give God a smile today.. i believe He will smile back.. (:

weird

2009-03-04T00:22:00.003+08:00

its weird.. seeing you online and not talking to me.. never was there a day in the past that we never spoke to even though if it was just for a while... from the day i knew you.. everytime that you and i was online, we always spoke to each other... today was the very first day that we didn't... i guess its really over... its weird because how much that i don't want to admit this.. you have become a big part in my life... would things ever get back to normal again... i wonder...

understand

2009-03-02T16:30:00.002+08:00

the one time... just this once... i need you to understand what i am going through... you don't.. i don't blame you.. i didnt know how to tell you... i didnt want to hurt you.. but i guess i did... i need you to be my friend.. but i guess you wont... its over.. i guess.. its over..

I'm far from bored

2009-02-27T15:00:00.003+08:00

haha... well.. as much as i love my free time at home.. im quite far from boredom this week (: by tmr i need to finish up the second beta version of the website.. (: so well, im left with a pretty big portion for today... but i will finish it today! (: yea! (:

borreedd

2009-02-20T13:34:00.002+08:00

im bored to tears at home.. without a thing to do... actually i do have things to do la.. (: like the website.. got a list of things to work on.. well... i am working on it (: (: heheh...

anw.. oh well.. waiting for another interview in NTU for a contract job.. (: weeee...

loooonnngggg time

2009-02-10T22:28:00.003+08:00

wow... after a long time.. i finally have a little time to blog and update.. anw.. the blog is up up UP! (:
weeee... im happy! (: first 'major' project.. (:

and even more exciting i am going for an interview tmr! (: 5pm! ohh mann... stress!! my very first interview.. what to wear? what to bring? what to say?.... ohh mann..!!! ahhh!! (:

i made it!

2009-01-23T07:55:00.002+08:00

i made it! last day of school! graduation!!!!!

weeeeee
after three years of torture.. waking up at 6am everyday.. rushing for fyp.. walking long distance to and fro from mrt to school and back.. and walking to E6 everyday! weeeeeee..

i am finally donee!! woohoo!!

GRADUATION! waaa, cant believe im saying this.. (: (:
weeeee...

two groups of people i want to thank in school (:
my dearest year 1 sem 1 class.. W15Q! (: greatest class that anyone can ask for! (: we all come from different school.. first year first semester.. we were all lost.. we were all we've got.. (: and did we become great friends! (:

second group is my dearest wireless gang (:
this group of people pulled me through my year 3.. with the laughter, jokes.. nonsense in class.. though the journey to school was often lonely.. but when im in school.. i know i could always count on them to make the day past quickly! (:

firstly i would have to thank guo ping.. for asking me to be in his FYP group.. without that.. i wouldnt have knew all my wireless gang people.. (:

secondly i want to thank Audrey! (: little miss audrey always there for me! (: always come to school for the sake of me (: (: so that i wouldnt be alone (: thanks girl! her smile would never fail to make me smile too (: thanks girl (:

(somehow always remind me of drey (: my little gb junior! (: always making me laugh.. being such a great sister and friend to have! (: miss you girl! )

and of cuz.. how can i ever forget ivy!! (: or mrs liow! (: (:
being the faci of RP (: weeee.. well.. though she never taught me.. but the times when i went to her pod.. ate her stuff.. discuss about the games! wahaha (: fun times (: guiding me thru in the academic stuff... talking on msn when i was bored.. taking the train with her... though a few times.. but those were great and unforgettable times! (: hehe.. thanks ivy!! (:

goodbyes are never nice.. but that never means that everything is over.. poly is over.. but not those friendships made.. school is over.. but those times that we spent together will always be etched in my heart.. (:

Thanks everyone (:

heaven or hell

2009-01-22T09:25:00.002+08:00

heaven and hell are not about geography (e.g. up there, down there)... its all about relationship... and so God invites us into a relationship.. because God is the source of life.. what would happen if we choose not to be with God?...

2 more days

2009-01-21T22:36:00.004+08:00

2 more days and i officially close the poly chapter of my life.. and everything else.. i cant believe it.. managed to pass through 3 years in RP... waking up at 6am everyday to go to school.. wow...

hmmm.. what is next.. what comes after this?... i wonder...

blank

2009-01-20T19:58:00.004+08:00

many thoughts running through my mind.. many feelings and emotions i wish to express.. but when i see you.. i got lost for words.. and emotions...

many things i wana tell you.. like the past..
but when i see you... all the words just disappear...

what do i do?...